Game of "Thrones": A Young Prince Who Detests Potty Time

Here ye Here ye, I will be the first to admit that potty training is F***ING hard and I wouldn't even be that mad if my two unruly direwolves (ok...dogs) took the liberty of training Rylan to do his business on our tree out front. Unfortunately, society looks down on a feral child raised by wolves, and at some point in his life he does have to use a toilet (weddings, funerals, school days ending in Y), so we are pulling out all the stops with encouraging the little lord to ascend his porcelain throne.
This is not an isolated incident--I have on good authority that I was a bit of a wee beast to potty train as a child (who me?). My competitive spirit took over when a little girl 6 months younger than myself successfully used the potty and I was green with envy. Low and behold, a toilet trained star was born! Having a strong-willed toddler of my own (laws of the universe), I realized early on that every kiddo is different and that it's a grave injustice forcing them to take something on before they are ready (remember all those time-sensitive milestones that we have burned into our eyelids by the experts? Yea, those are pretty much crap). My little dude can recite every last Bubble Guppy in alphabetical order according to tail color, but has maintained a steadfast aversion to using his Paw Patrol potty seat for anything other than a floatation device in the bathtub.
We've tried reading books on the toilet every hour on the hour, wearing big boy underpants, fruit loop targets, letting him watch us go (we hear insurance covers therapy nowadays...), running around naked, training schedules, books about potty time, you name it. I've been vigilant to not let myself get frustrated--eventually everyone gets potty trained, right? And these are supposed to be the most fun times of our lives--I don't want it clouded by unnecessary worry. Kids do everything in their own time. The rate in which your child is potty trained is not a reflection of your parenting, good or bad.
With that being said, we wanted to make it as fun as possible for him! When we picked him up from school yesterday, we told him that we were going to the store to pick out special potty prizes for him. The look of excitement on his face when we pulled up to the Target dollar bins section was priceless! Since it's almost Valentine's Day, they had boxes with 16 little dinosaurs to be attached to Valentines for classmates which can now be 16 prizes for the basket! We found tiny superhero figurines, bouncy balls, Doc McStuffins bath stickums, cute stickers that I cut into strips, stamps and mini ink pads, light up bracelets, lollies, slinkies and more! We also found a motivational sign that says, "TODAY IS THE DAY!"

It's important to keep in mind that we only get this one lifetime with our kiddos. As parents, it's not our job to push our kids mercilessly into the harshness of the world, but to help them navigate different methods until they find the ones that work for them. Have fun with it! Giving a child the confidence and support to explore trial and error, fail a few times and then get back on the horse and try again is the best gift we can give them (although Target dollar bin trinkets are a close second). Nothing beats the look of pride on their faces when they finally master something that they've been working on for a long time! Parenting is not a race--you do not get special brownie points in mommy heaven for potty training your kid at 2 years old or getting them to eat all their veggies at every meal. A happy, healthy, loved child is our greatest contribution to this world because they will become happy, healthy, loving adults.
I hope everyone had a magical holiday weekend with your loved ones! Serendipity Mom has some amazing things in store for the New Year, including a sneak peek into the new graphics launch on my Etsy.com page, Serendipity Mom 2! Stay tuned for the next blog highlighting some of the most sought after designs for 2017!

Fifty Custom Christmas Gift Ideas UNDER 50 Dollars

There's nothing that spreads Christmas cheer quite like a mob of sweaty people in tryptophan comas pressing you against the cold glass doors of Target at 3 am in search of the coveted last Hatchimal... Or the rush of adrenaline that courses through your body on the night of Christmas Eve as you scour the empty shelves of your neighborhood CVS in search of anything that can remotely be wrapped or bagged...

Aside from death, childbirth or starting a new job, Christmas shopping tops the list as one of the most painstakingly agonizing life-events in this girl's book. There's something about large crowds throwing elbows at each other to save $20 on a pair of sneakers that really gets me in the giving mood. While many of you will be waiting 30 minutes for a parking spot at the malls this holiday season, I will be calmly sipping festive craft beers on my cozy sheepskin rug, dreaming of the perfect holly spring to tuck into the ribbon on the brown paper packages that I wrapped months ago--(How hipster did I just sound right there?!) 

What if I told you that you could do all your Christmas shopping in one day, on ONE website and everything would be either handmade, personalized or one of a kind? Etsy.com is a charming portal for makers and crafters to display their handcrafted products. It's like an eBay for artisans, but you are buying goods directly from the dealer and cutting out the upcharge that stores tack on. I know for many, it is incredibly daunting to navigate because there are just so many goshdarn adorable options. Lucky for you, since I have zero personal life outside of instagramming my lunches and hot gluing felt, I am something of an Etsy aficionado. Behold, a carefully compiled list of the top 50 gifts under 50 dollhairs. And don't worry--these pieces are all timeless, so they aren't going to go out of style like those little furbies that hatch out of eggs. PLUS, you are supporting small business owners all over the world. Most of these gifts have a quick turn around--you will receive them within a week or two of ordering, even the personalized ones! Be sure to read all ordering and shipping information to ensure that your gifts arrive before the holidays. 

Long forgotten are the days of snowmen neckties and Bill Cosby sweaters for dad. Give the man in your life something he can actually use!

For Men

Engraved pocket knife or multi-tool ($20-$40)
Flannel Pajamas ($45, without monogram)
Monogrammed shaving kit or leather toiletry bag ($20-$40)
Leather Wallet ($40)
Vintage Ammo Can toolbox/storage can ($35-$45)
Rustic iPhone docking station ($35)Engraved flask ($20)
Monogrammed, etched cigar humidor or watch box (starts at $50)
Custom pocket watch ($45)
Game of Thrones whiskey decanter set ($25-$35)

Copper engraved & personalized "Love Reminder" card ($20)
Engraved hammer ($30)
Wooden engraved watch ($45)
Red Clay beer mug ($25)
Dapper Fox print necktie ($30)
Case of craft beer ($30-$40)
Outdoorsy Fleece/Shirt ($20-$45)

I think every woman in the world has at some point owned the same gold heart necklace or Elizabeth Taylor perfume given to her on Christmas morning. While those are tried and true classics, this could be the year to really WOW her!
For Women

Olive green jersey infinity scarf ($45)
Bohemian jewelry ($20-$40)
Fingerless felted gloves ($35)
Chunky nautical knot bracelet ($25)
Rustic handmade soap set ($20-$30)
Celtic knot hair barrette ($20)
Wooden iPad stand ($45)
108 Mala bead necklace, Buddhist jewelry ($20)
Dark wood watch ($50)
Burgundy cotton handbag tote ($40)
Contemporary silver etched business card holder ($20)
Designer patterned leggings ($30-$50)
Dainty pinecone earrings ($6)
Wooden owl hair pin ($25)
China leaf trinket bowl ($45)
Rustic wooden beer or wine tote ($25)
Brown leather driving gloves ($40)

While kids sized Jeeps and American Girl Dolls are every child's dream, budgets don't always agree. Skimp on price, not quality with these one-of-a-kind gifts for kids of all ages.

For Kids

Superhero Cape ($50)
EcoFriendly Dinosaur shaped crayons ($10
Personalized wooden baking utensil set ($20)
Peppa Pig nesting dolls ($20)
DIY Catapult kit ($10)
Personalized wooden Lego tray ($40)
Woodland Animal DIY papercraft kit ($10)
Engraved guitar ($45)
Personalized treasure chest ($45)
Organic handmade construction vehicle play mat ($25)
Zombie brains soap ($5)
Mermaid tail blanket ($30)
Handmade Batman shelf ($45)
Kids' teepee playhouse ($50)
Personalized children's book ($25)
Personalized leather tool belt with kids' tools ($45)
6 pcs crochet vegetables set ($30)
Fairy Garden kit ($30)
Friendly Sloth peekaboo stamp ($10)
Knit stuffed unicorn doll ($45)

Another successful Christmas shopping for the books! And the most important thing to consider is that it's not the gift, but the thought that counts. The true spirit of Christmas is found in the faces of those you love and the bottom of the huge bowl of rum egg nog. Happy holidays to all and much love to you and your family! 

Challenge Accepted: Have a Sparkling Home by Thanksgiving with this Free Printable Cleaning Calendar!

I have a confession to make...for those of you with pristine, immaculate houses...please, for your emotional well-being, discontinue reading and occupy yourselves with Pinteresting gourmet recipes or little GMO-free Halloween goodie bags in carefully carved mini pumpkins. (Even if your house is a pigsty, those ideas actually sound fantastic)

Dismal confession of the anti-Stepford mom: I absolutely, positively, with every ounce of my being, HATE to clean. 

Ok Ok, I know what you're thinking. For someone who has based their entire brand Serendipity Mom on their experience in the hospitality industry, that's a pretty disturbing admission. It's not the physical act of cleaning that keeps me awake, shivering in the fetal position at night...it's the grim realization that once you work up the noble motivation to tackle an entire house, the arduous list of tasks becomes entirely too overwhelming and it looks like another tornado swept through (only a few days after you spent 2 hours hunched over dried jelly smears on your baseboards). Living with a toddler and two fluffy dogs often leads me to discover dog hair tumbleweeds resembling a smaller dog under my armchair, mac & cheese embedded into my dogs' fur from a toddler plate being overturned at dinnertime, and long-forgotten sippy cups of milk excavated from a toy chest a week later. This parenting gig is not for the faint of heart, but there IS a way to keep your sanity while keeping up your house to the best of your ability.

For those of us parents who lovingly call our mess "making memories," a do-able solution does exist. I've come up with an easy-to-follow cleaning calendar for the month of November (because the holiday season just isn't stressful enough without having to clean house before a visit from the in-laws). Other cleaning calendars I've seen floating around the internet seem so overwhelming and expect you to magically find 3 hours a day after 9 hour work days, commuting, after-school activities, meal prep and homework. I will be the first to admit that by Wednesday night, I'm slouched over on the couch longingly imagining a cold beer in my hand; because the thought of having to get up and pour an actual beer from the fridge would just be too much effort for my exhausted body. 

If you can find 45 minutes a day between making amazing memories with your kiddos, you've already taken the first step to regaining your sanity. It even covers the Post-Thanksgiving home-detox after the highs of lively guests, rich food and wine have worn off. 

You will have a few days to prep for the Cleaning Calendar Challenge--I know I will be stocking up on sponges/rags, Clorox wipes, baking soda/Dawn/vinegar/peroxide (for baseboards, bathrooms and carpets), Swiffer dry & wet pads, window cleaner and laundry detergent/fabric softener. My budget will be around $50 for supplies and I will devote roughly an hour either before or after dinner to daily cleaning. At the very least, it will be a successful day if I can make the time to hang up clothes from the growing pile engulfing the rocking chair in my bedroom. Additionally, the most important task you can achieve on Sunday is to prepare for the coming week. Whether that means planning your work outfits, packing lunches, freezing dinners or making a weekly calendar--dedicate that day to the little details that often leave us frazzled in the mornings. 

I'd love to hear about your November Cleaning Calendar Challenge experiences: what worked, what didn't, what you did differently, what needed additional time/focus, what your kids were able to help out with, etc. Before and after pictures would also be amazing! Until next time!

10 Simple Truths to Cut the Stress Out of Life

Life undeniably has a way of becoming a whirlwind at times. Add a family and a full-time job into the mix, and you've got a EF-5 tornado on your hands! Some weeks, it seems like smooth sailing and you pride yourself on your ability to multi-task and kick butt at life; other days, it feels like being trapped under a waterfall, gasping for air. Because of life's marvelous curve balls that inevitably test our will, sometimes it's not a matter of eliminating all stress, but learning to manage it and prepare ourselves for the impending rough waters.

A few weeks ago, I was enjoying a relaxing family vacation with my sweet son at the beach. Life couldn't have been more serene: we started our mornings off with sunrise yoga, took leisurely strolls along the shore collecting seashells, enjoyed daily arts & crafts and napped together every day. When we returned home to our usual routine, both Rylan and I were so out-of-whack with our schedules that it was causing him to feel frustrated and lash out and in turn, I wasn't able to process the effect that this normal toddler behavior was having on me amidst my mad scramble to catch up on my workload from my time away. We were both hitting a wall and I knew I had to do something quickly. I started putting my mindfulness reading into effect and came up with a simple list of guidelines to help combat some of the normal stressors that come with this beautiful gift called life.

1. Take time to do 15 minutes of yoga in the morning and 15 minutes at the end of the day to wind down. Not only does yoga stretch and work my muscles and limbs, but it gives me mental clarity and inner peace. 
2. Try to refrain from eating in the car. I used to always scarf down my breakfast in the car on the way to work but I realized that it only fueled that "go go go" mentality. Now I take time to sit down and eat, even if for only 5 minutes.
3. Take yourself out to eat on a lunch break at least once a week. Many of us (especially parents) never get a moment to ourselves to decompress. Give yourself that time to reflect and treat yourself, without the kids. 
4. Keep fresh flowers around the house. I cannot emphasize enough the wonders that a blooming bouquet on the kitchen table does for my soul.
5. Take a shower and wash your face before bedtime. Sometimes the days weigh so heavily on us, it's important to wash away the old day in preparation for the new.
6. Prep the night before. Whether it's packing kids lunches or ironing work clothes, the less you have to do in the morning, the less hectic your morning will be.
7. Enjoy family dinners! Not only will it give you something to look forward to all day, but it is quality family time and that is priceless!
8. Invest in a quality air purifier. Reactions to invisible allergens can cause mental fog and poor air intake (leading to fatigue). Air purifiers (including plants like ferns) will cleanse your living space in no time.
9. Limit your time on the scale. Nothing is worth the anxiety of constantly weighing yourself every morning. Go by how your body feels and how your clothes fit and check in on your weight once a week
10. Keep your sink free of dirty dishes! My anxiety levels sky rocket when I come home to a sink full of dishes or if that is the last thing I see before I go to bed. It's just one little thing to ease your mind.

I have also learned that sometimes anxiety can be caused by a deficiency of some sort. I started taking the non-essential amino acid called L-Tyrosine (supplement) and have felt my energy levels skyrocket, my anxiety levels plummet and I am hoping to boost my under-active thyroid as well! If you are feeling general lethargy and fatigue, check with your physician or naturopathic doctor to see what natural remedies would work best for you!

Traveling with a Toddler: Tips for Keeping Calm and Enjoying the Ride

Close your eyes and imagine you are on a scenic, winding road; surrounded by canopies of trees and foliage, the blue mountains lining your vision through the windshield, your favorite music in the background setting a perfect scene for a roadtrip. Your serenity is suddenly shattered by the wails of a restless toddler in the backset, shrieking because they dropped their favorite plastic train as they kick the back of your seat. The crisp mountain air is clouded by a mystery odor (was that a dead animal or a dirty diaper? Or even worse...vomit...) and as you frantically pour through your disheveled diaper bag, you realize you have only a small baggie of crushed Goldfish crumbs to offer your frustrated little one. You fumble with the radio dial in desperate hopes of finding an uplifting tune, only to be rebuffed by the lack of signal deep in the mountains. You, my friend, are trapped in the Murphy's Law tornado where everything that can go wrong, will.
So as parents, helpless to the onset of Murphy's Law halfway through our roadtrip, what do we do to prevent this downward spiral? This weekend, I did the unthinkable--I braved a 7.5 hour roadtrip to Connecticut on a Friday afternoon after work, during summer rush hour traffic, through the mountains with only myself and a 2.5 year old who detests long car rides.
From the get-go, it seemed that things were just not going to go my way. Despite purchasing a head-rest DVD player, countless activity books and a plethora of convenient snacks far in advance, discouraging obstacles started rearing their ugly heads the week before our voyage. For starters, my trusty Prius failed its' inspection and needed 4 new tires and some cap thing-a-majiggy to pass. They had to order the part so the inspection and release of my vehicle occured the night before the trip. As I scrambled to pack my car in the dark, I felt relieved that I had so carefully and obsessively planned out every other detail of the trip, thinking it would fall into place. The next morning, after an exhausting work mission that entailed 4+ hours of driving, I set up the DVD player, activity box, and snack tray for Rylan. When I went to turn on the DVD player, I was dismayed to realize that it only worked while plugged into a charging port. I pulled out the car charger that it came with and saw that the plug was severed and frayed (worst business ever!)...thus commencing the 1.5 hour scavenger hunt to find a store that carried an inverter to go into the car lighter. The day was saved by my saint of a mother who managed to find one at AutoZone.

We started our voyage and the views were absolutely breathtaking through the mountains. My son slept through the first portion, then we played a game of "I spy the biggest mountain." Everything was smooth sailing and I thought to myself, "hey, this isn't so bad!" We stopped for penny candy at a general store near Port Jervis, munched on sub sandwiches in Poughkeepsie, and the high-pitched voice of Caillou playing on a loop in the backseat kept him content for the most part. That's when the rush hour traffic hit. Every few miles, the GPS would say to me "13 minute slow-down,"..."24 minute slow-down,"..."Your travel has been delayed by 1 hour 32 minutes." I played my own game in my head titled "How many strings of exploitives can I think up?" It was so discouraging and I felt myself starting to get frustrated and antsy, thinking that my toddler was going to start losing it. Praise the heavens because he never whined once, and was appreciative of the steady stream of toys that I handed him while we sat at a standstill.


So, here's what I learned:

1. PLAN PLAN PLAN. Shell out the $60 for the headrest DVD player. Collect every kids' movie you've ever owned in your life and have it within arms reach. Stock up on an assortment of snacks that can be easily accessed and opened that won't end up smeared all over the back of the passenger seat. Strategically place diapers and wipes throughout the car so you can change a diaper anywhere when you stop for a break or wipe sticky fingers. Don't forget about the value of having stickers and activity books on hand. And magnadoodles.
2. Don't get discouraged when everything that you so carefully constructed starts slipping through your fingers. Things will go haywire and you WILL inevitably get stuck in traffic. You are in control and you will make it to your destination. Keep an open mind and learn to laugh it off (instead of being a frazzled curmudgeon like I was at the beginning and end of the car ride).
3. Entertain your kids to the best of your ability. Play "I Spy","Count the Cows" or "21 Questions." Put on energetic music that you can all sing along to. Tell stories together and let them get creative with their imagination. A DVD will only entertain them for so long--this is your opportunity to make memories. I didn't think Rylan would be responsive yet to road trip games, but he had the time of his life!
4. Pit-Stops can be the coolest part of your journey! Research popular places to chart along the way and give yourself ample time to enjoy them. On the way back from Connecticut, we stopped in the charming town of Milford, PA and ate a leisurely lunch at a downtown deli, followed by a short jaunt through town to browse a whirligig shoppe. It helped to break up the monotony of a long drive and re-energized both of us. If you are too tired to finish the journey that day, be the hero by getting a hotel or campsite to sleep in.
5. You are Super Parent. You are an absolute Rock Star for doing the unthinkable and taking your little one on a memorable vacation. Will everything go according to plan? Probably not. But despite the sticky fingers, the poopy carseats, the restless passengers, these are the best moments of your life to share with your family. And keep telling yourself that EVERY parent in EVERY corner of this country has dealt with the same scenario--there is no flawless roadtrip ever reported in history.

Professional Etiquette for Aspiring Innkeepers: My Secret Recipe for Success

Are you an aspiring Innkeeper or just starting out in the business? Here are some of my own personal tips that will set you apart from your competition:

1. As highlighted in my recent post, a small Welcome Basket can go a long way in showing hospitality to your guests! Many guests are paying up to $400 for a night at your Inn, I’m sure it would be nothing to spend a few dollars and a little time to show your appreciation of their patronage.

2. Have a little cove where you can display local pamphlets, maps and coupon books for your guests to rifle through. Make sure that they are categorized by activity, presented professionally and contain current information.

3. Include a well-designed binder/folder full of the quirks/rules of the Inn, local delivery options, TV channel guide, WiFi password, and room service/package options.

4. Designate a preferred window of time for check-ins. Many Inns promise to be on-site between 3 pm and 6 pm, but I find that 3 pm to 8 pm is a more realistic window, especially for Friday evening. Keep an eye out for their arrival so they aren’t standing at the front door wondering if they are at the wrong house. Greet them warmly, shake their hands, call them by their names and congratulate them on their special occasion (this means finding out the reason for their stay when they book their reservation).

5. Provide them with dining out options and offer to make a reservation for them (especially since they will be exhausted from their travels). If they are celebrating a special occasion, jazz up a bottle of Champagne or box of truffles and place them on the bureau in their room. This will show that you are attentive and accommodating.

6. Ask about dietary restrictions/allergies at the time of booking. Many people who are restricted in diet are wary about staying at a B&B due to a reputation for decadent cuisine. Become proficient in gluten-free baking and diabetic needs and advertise this knowledge in your marketing. As far as your non-restricted food? Take the time to bake as much as you can from scratch and decorate it beautifully. People do not spend hundreds of dollars per night to be served muffins from a boxed mix and frozen quiches.

7. Find out their desired breakfast time when you check them in. This way, they won’t have to wait long for a hot breakfast, and you won’t get slammed by the breakfast rush all at once. I've seen people serve breakfasts in courses, but in my professional opinioin, anything more than a "Fruit" course and a "Main" course is anxiety provoking for the guests. Don't make them feel like they have to rush through their courses or sit through a longer breakfast than they anticipated. Plus, less courses, less dishes you have to wash.

8. Offer to put together an itinerary based on the nature of their trip. This way, they won’t be wandering aimlessly around a town, completely unaware of the amazing excursions that exist around them. This is an instance of going above and beyond the call of duty.

9. Leave your attitude at the door! I get it, we all have bad days, especially in the hospitality industry where you are pretty much married to your work. Time and time again, I read reviews about grumpy Innkeepers and it breaks my heart. Hospitality means making people feel comfortable, and you can’t do that with a sour-puss look on your face. If your heart isn’t in the business anymore and all you care about are dollar signs, please sell the business to someone who has the passion needed.

10. Cross-train your employees. I always see Innkeepers bending over backwards to clean 6 or 7 rooms a day, cook breakfast, do check-ins and handle the finances and that will burn you out quickly. Don’t be a control freak. If you hire an assistant Innkeeper or housekeeper, train them in ALL fields of your business instead of limiting them to scrubbing toilets and then complaining that you do too much. Teach them to prepare and plate the breakfasts, interact with guests, handle check-ins, run the gift shop, and reservation bookings. If something happens to you, God forbid, now you know that there is someone trust-worthy that can handle your pride and joy. This does not mean hiring an interim Innkeeper and making them an indentured servant. A good employee doesn’t quit the business, they quit the boss. Be a nurturing and compassionate employer who wants their employees to learn and grow, but also to run their business with professionalism and courtesy.

11. Maximize your Social Media presence. Join Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, everything! Link your blog to all of these and write at minimum one entry a week, which should not only highlight your Inn, but upcoming local attractions, food reviews and decor/style tips.

12. Respond to ALL reviews, not just the bad ones. If you do receive a bad one, DO NOT GET DEFENSIVE. Be apologetic and professional, and always offer a solution or alternative to their complaints to encourage them to give your business a second chance. When you receive a positive review, be gracious and enthusiastic for the guests' return.

13. Hairdryers, ironing boards/irons, and robes go a long way in terms of convenience for your guests. This will also warrant higher ratings from hospitality organizations reviewing your business. Also, consider featuring a gift shop area where guests can buy souvenirs, local products and extra amenities. Designate an actual section of your inn to display instead of strewing your product around the entire inn as "Decorations with Pricetags." Tacky.

14. Consider hosting weddings and events when your business starts to run smoothly. Special events can bring in wonderful revenue, provide stunning professional pictures for your website, and set you in a league apart from the rest. Form business relationships early on with local reputable caterers, cake designers, and party planners and attend workshops centered around event coordinating.

15. Identify your Inn's niche. If you want to market yourselves as culinary gurus, creative decorators, professional soap artisans, dog lovers, whatever you feel passionate about--set yourselves apart from the other run-of-the-mill inns in your area. Keep it simple and master your featured talent. Also, stay up to date with fluctuations and innovations in interior design. Replace sheets and comforters often, freshen up color schemes and revamp furniture when needed.

Join the "Inn-Crowd" with These Helpful Tips to Ensure A Memorable B&B Experience

June is a popular month for weddings, graduations and anniversaries. Many people make reservations at their tried and true hotel chains, or stay with friends (which can sometimes be restrictive of your privacy). While I love the predictability of a hotel or the comfort of an old friend’s home, I will attempt to open your eyes to an often underrated means of accommodation: a Bed & Breakfast (or an Inn).

Bed & Breakfasts are typically owned by a single person or a couple, and you are essentially being welcomed into their lavishly decorated home where they want to cater to you and give you the best experience possible. You would only be sharing their attention with approximately 6 other rooms, which is a pretty good ratio for getting individualized support. Innkeepers have been in the business for a long time and have hospitality down to a science. They know where to send you to get exactly what you want to eat (and will even make the reservation for you, since they know the owner). They can redirect you around traffic and point you in the direction of secret, locals-only hiking trails. They can plan a weekend itinerary for you filled with horseback riding and picnics in the woods, and have flowers and handmade truffles waiting for you in your room when you return. Large hotel chains may win you over with a warm cookie upon arrival, but consider this: When you arrive to a B&B, you are beckoned with lush, empyrean gardens and landscaping; stunning, ornate furnishings and soft, 1000-thread count sheets; doting Innkeepers, who are a wealth of knowledge about the area; and quite possibly, an entire oven full of fresh, warm cookies to greet you. You are guaranteed a gourmet
 breakfast and fresh coffee when you wake up, and by the end of your stay (if the Innkeepers have their hearts in it), you will feel like you just inherited a new extension of your family.

On the other side of the token, I do feel that B&B’s aren’t for everyone. Some people like to be completely secluded with minimal interaction with other parties, others want to accumulate their hotel travel points for valid reasons. I also believe that there are common misconceptions that surround a Bed & Breakfast. An attentive innkeeper will do everything in their power to ensure that you are provided a quiet guestroom to relax in. They will be open and honest about soundproofing quality and will not offer you a room above a noisy kitchen if they know you want a serene getaway to catch up on sleep. Some B&B’s offer family style dining, where everyone sits at a large dining room table for breakfast. I tend to prefer café-style tables set up in a large dining room so that patrons can have their space but still feel the energy of the morning bustle. If this is something that you prefer, be sure to read up on your dining accommodations so that you get exactly what you pay for. A hospitable innkeeper will also respect your intentions of enjoying a private getaway by being available to their guests but not intrusive.

Here are the key DO’s and DON’T’s when considering a B&B:

DO call the Inn before booking to address any specific questions you may have or ask about special rates.

DON’T try to intimidate or bully the innkeeper into giving you a discount. They usually only have on average 6 rooms to rent, and while they will most likely give you a discount on the weekday, a weekend is when they make the majority of their revenue.

DO contact the Inn before your stay to make them aware of any dietary restrictions or allergies you may have.

DON’T demand a custom menu or wait until your breakfast arrives to let them know you are a diabetic gluten-free vegan allergic to vegetables.

DO inquire about rooms with private entrances or balconies.

DON’T use that as a way to sneak in guests or throw all-night soirees on the veranda.

DO request to purchase a nice package from the Inn in advance for your significant other to make their stay special.

DON’T wait until the day of your reservation to frantically order a bouquet of long-stemmed roses and chocolate dipped strawberries.

DO provide your Innkeeper with a time of arrival. Innkeepers love to be on property to greet their guests and give them a tour. They take great pride in their business and want to give you a fantastic first impression.

DON’T demand that an Innkeeper wait until 9 or 10 pm for your arrival when you committed to a 3 pm arrival. Oftentimes, Innkeepers have families and dedicate 24 hours a day/7 days a week to their B&B, and it is presumptuous to expect them to put their lives on hold to wait at the front because you had to make an impromptu stop at the outlet mall for 6 hours. There are a few exceptions such as inclement weather or poor traffic conditions that are beyond your control, and any Innkeeper will be more than understanding of this. Be sure to give them a courtesy call if this is the case.

DO ask your Innkeeper to provide extra pillows and duvets or to ensure that your bed won’t be adjacent to a drafty window or door.

DON’T take it upon yourself to rearrange furniture, remove headboards or take amenities from other rooms. I have heard of guests un-anchoring large, heavy headboards because they “made too much noise.” BIG faux pas.

DO ask your Innkeeper to give you a tour of their available, clean rooms for your next visit.

DON’T embark on a self-guided tour of the Inn. Remember, this is someone’s home and also guests may very well have forgotten to lock a door when they left for the day.

DO address any issues with your accommodations while you are on-sight so that they may be remedied immediately during your stay.

DON’T wait until 3 am to ring the Innkeeper about a running toilet or write a snarky review on TripAdvisor after your departure. Small businesses thrive on reviews and inns pride themselves on hospitality and being able to handle any situation as it arises. Unless your stay was absolutely horrid, there is no reason to wait and write a nasty review.

DO interact with other guests at breakfast and partake in lively conversation with the staff.

DON’T insult or belittle the staff; or bring up taboo topics at the breakfast table. Be aware of social cues in case some of the guests just want privacy. Sidenote, showing up in your pajamas to the formal dining room is a huge no-no. You don't have to dress up, but please look presentable.

DO ask your housekeeping staff to provide clean sheets daily or replenish your amenities. If you are staying 3 nights, typically the housekeeper will change your sheets for the 3rd night, but some people prefer extra freshening.

DON’T leave your room a pigsty with trash strewn about and hair clumps in the Jacuzzi. Leave your
 room in a way that wouldn’t embarrass you if your mother walked in. The staff is more than happy to freshen your room each morning when you go out for the day, but often they have a limited window of time to straighten all the rooms, so the tidier you leave it, the more thoroughly it will be cleaned.

DO leave a tip for the staff in your room as you depart. Customarily, if the service was exemplary, $10-$20 per day is standard.

DON’T leave leftover alcohol (many times, inn staff is under 21 years) or uneaten food as a tip.

DO return the next year with your significant other for a yearly getaway. The Innkeepers will fondly remember you and will try to make your second experience even more memorable.

DON’T return later with new “guests” every time. Even though an innkeeper will always show you respect and privacy regardless of your lifestyle choices, it is tacky to bring a different partner to the same place every time. Telephone the innkeeper and ask if there is another local B&B that they could recommend. They would be happy to assist you, especially if it would help them avoid a potentially awkward blunder.

A Bed & Breakfast can be a truly magical experience, especially if you are celebrating a special occasion with your loved one. Enjoying the single life? Treat yourself to a couple nights of pampering and relaxation! Some of my most incredible vacations have been solo ones, where I have the liberty to go off and explore a new area at my own leisure, partake in savory cuisine and meet people from all different walks of life.

Be sure to thoroughly browse your options, reading reviews and asking others for recommendations. If your personal style is more rustic chic, but you are booking your stay at a frilly Victorian Inn, that will not suit your preference. Comb through the online pictures and choose a B&B that is both aesthetically pleasing to your eye and has outstanding reviews for food and service.