Traveling with a Toddler: Tips for Keeping Calm and Enjoying the Ride

Close your eyes and imagine you are on a scenic, winding road; surrounded by canopies of trees and foliage, the blue mountains lining your vision through the windshield, your favorite music in the background setting a perfect scene for a roadtrip. Your serenity is suddenly shattered by the wails of a restless toddler in the backset, shrieking because they dropped their favorite plastic train as they kick the back of your seat. The crisp mountain air is clouded by a mystery odor (was that a dead animal or a dirty diaper? Or even worse...vomit...) and as you frantically pour through your disheveled diaper bag, you realize you have only a small baggie of crushed Goldfish crumbs to offer your frustrated little one. You fumble with the radio dial in desperate hopes of finding an uplifting tune, only to be rebuffed by the lack of signal deep in the mountains. You, my friend, are trapped in the Murphy's Law tornado where everything that can go wrong, will.
So as parents, helpless to the onset of Murphy's Law halfway through our roadtrip, what do we do to prevent this downward spiral? This weekend, I did the unthinkable--I braved a 7.5 hour roadtrip to Connecticut on a Friday afternoon after work, during summer rush hour traffic, through the mountains with only myself and a 2.5 year old who detests long car rides.
From the get-go, it seemed that things were just not going to go my way. Despite purchasing a head-rest DVD player, countless activity books and a plethora of convenient snacks far in advance, discouraging obstacles started rearing their ugly heads the week before our voyage. For starters, my trusty Prius failed its' inspection and needed 4 new tires and some cap thing-a-majiggy to pass. They had to order the part so the inspection and release of my vehicle occured the night before the trip. As I scrambled to pack my car in the dark, I felt relieved that I had so carefully and obsessively planned out every other detail of the trip, thinking it would fall into place. The next morning, after an exhausting work mission that entailed 4+ hours of driving, I set up the DVD player, activity box, and snack tray for Rylan. When I went to turn on the DVD player, I was dismayed to realize that it only worked while plugged into a charging port. I pulled out the car charger that it came with and saw that the plug was severed and frayed (worst business ever!)...thus commencing the 1.5 hour scavenger hunt to find a store that carried an inverter to go into the car lighter. The day was saved by my saint of a mother who managed to find one at AutoZone.

We started our voyage and the views were absolutely breathtaking through the mountains. My son slept through the first portion, then we played a game of "I spy the biggest mountain." Everything was smooth sailing and I thought to myself, "hey, this isn't so bad!" We stopped for penny candy at a general store near Port Jervis, munched on sub sandwiches in Poughkeepsie, and the high-pitched voice of Caillou playing on a loop in the backseat kept him content for the most part. That's when the rush hour traffic hit. Every few miles, the GPS would say to me "13 minute slow-down,"..."24 minute slow-down,"..."Your travel has been delayed by 1 hour 32 minutes." I played my own game in my head titled "How many strings of exploitives can I think up?" It was so discouraging and I felt myself starting to get frustrated and antsy, thinking that my toddler was going to start losing it. Praise the heavens because he never whined once, and was appreciative of the steady stream of toys that I handed him while we sat at a standstill.


So, here's what I learned:

1. PLAN PLAN PLAN. Shell out the $60 for the headrest DVD player. Collect every kids' movie you've ever owned in your life and have it within arms reach. Stock up on an assortment of snacks that can be easily accessed and opened that won't end up smeared all over the back of the passenger seat. Strategically place diapers and wipes throughout the car so you can change a diaper anywhere when you stop for a break or wipe sticky fingers. Don't forget about the value of having stickers and activity books on hand. And magnadoodles.
2. Don't get discouraged when everything that you so carefully constructed starts slipping through your fingers. Things will go haywire and you WILL inevitably get stuck in traffic. You are in control and you will make it to your destination. Keep an open mind and learn to laugh it off (instead of being a frazzled curmudgeon like I was at the beginning and end of the car ride).
3. Entertain your kids to the best of your ability. Play "I Spy","Count the Cows" or "21 Questions." Put on energetic music that you can all sing along to. Tell stories together and let them get creative with their imagination. A DVD will only entertain them for so long--this is your opportunity to make memories. I didn't think Rylan would be responsive yet to road trip games, but he had the time of his life!
4. Pit-Stops can be the coolest part of your journey! Research popular places to chart along the way and give yourself ample time to enjoy them. On the way back from Connecticut, we stopped in the charming town of Milford, PA and ate a leisurely lunch at a downtown deli, followed by a short jaunt through town to browse a whirligig shoppe. It helped to break up the monotony of a long drive and re-energized both of us. If you are too tired to finish the journey that day, be the hero by getting a hotel or campsite to sleep in.
5. You are Super Parent. You are an absolute Rock Star for doing the unthinkable and taking your little one on a memorable vacation. Will everything go according to plan? Probably not. But despite the sticky fingers, the poopy carseats, the restless passengers, these are the best moments of your life to share with your family. And keep telling yourself that EVERY parent in EVERY corner of this country has dealt with the same scenario--there is no flawless roadtrip ever reported in history.

Professional Etiquette for Aspiring Innkeepers: My Secret Recipe for Success

Are you an aspiring Innkeeper or just starting out in the business? Here are some of my own personal tips that will set you apart from your competition:

1. As highlighted in my recent post, a small Welcome Basket can go a long way in showing hospitality to your guests! Many guests are paying up to $400 for a night at your Inn, I’m sure it would be nothing to spend a few dollars and a little time to show your appreciation of their patronage.

2. Have a little cove where you can display local pamphlets, maps and coupon books for your guests to rifle through. Make sure that they are categorized by activity, presented professionally and contain current information.

3. Include a well-designed binder/folder full of the quirks/rules of the Inn, local delivery options, TV channel guide, WiFi password, and room service/package options.

4. Designate a preferred window of time for check-ins. Many Inns promise to be on-site between 3 pm and 6 pm, but I find that 3 pm to 8 pm is a more realistic window, especially for Friday evening. Keep an eye out for their arrival so they aren’t standing at the front door wondering if they are at the wrong house. Greet them warmly, shake their hands, call them by their names and congratulate them on their special occasion (this means finding out the reason for their stay when they book their reservation).

5. Provide them with dining out options and offer to make a reservation for them (especially since they will be exhausted from their travels). If they are celebrating a special occasion, jazz up a bottle of Champagne or box of truffles and place them on the bureau in their room. This will show that you are attentive and accommodating.

6. Ask about dietary restrictions/allergies at the time of booking. Many people who are restricted in diet are wary about staying at a B&B due to a reputation for decadent cuisine. Become proficient in gluten-free baking and diabetic needs and advertise this knowledge in your marketing. As far as your non-restricted food? Take the time to bake as much as you can from scratch and decorate it beautifully. People do not spend hundreds of dollars per night to be served muffins from a boxed mix and frozen quiches.

7. Find out their desired breakfast time when you check them in. This way, they won’t have to wait long for a hot breakfast, and you won’t get slammed by the breakfast rush all at once. I've seen people serve breakfasts in courses, but in my professional opinioin, anything more than a "Fruit" course and a "Main" course is anxiety provoking for the guests. Don't make them feel like they have to rush through their courses or sit through a longer breakfast than they anticipated. Plus, less courses, less dishes you have to wash.

8. Offer to put together an itinerary based on the nature of their trip. This way, they won’t be wandering aimlessly around a town, completely unaware of the amazing excursions that exist around them. This is an instance of going above and beyond the call of duty.

9. Leave your attitude at the door! I get it, we all have bad days, especially in the hospitality industry where you are pretty much married to your work. Time and time again, I read reviews about grumpy Innkeepers and it breaks my heart. Hospitality means making people feel comfortable, and you can’t do that with a sour-puss look on your face. If your heart isn’t in the business anymore and all you care about are dollar signs, please sell the business to someone who has the passion needed.

10. Cross-train your employees. I always see Innkeepers bending over backwards to clean 6 or 7 rooms a day, cook breakfast, do check-ins and handle the finances and that will burn you out quickly. Don’t be a control freak. If you hire an assistant Innkeeper or housekeeper, train them in ALL fields of your business instead of limiting them to scrubbing toilets and then complaining that you do too much. Teach them to prepare and plate the breakfasts, interact with guests, handle check-ins, run the gift shop, and reservation bookings. If something happens to you, God forbid, now you know that there is someone trust-worthy that can handle your pride and joy. This does not mean hiring an interim Innkeeper and making them an indentured servant. A good employee doesn’t quit the business, they quit the boss. Be a nurturing and compassionate employer who wants their employees to learn and grow, but also to run their business with professionalism and courtesy.

11. Maximize your Social Media presence. Join Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, everything! Link your blog to all of these and write at minimum one entry a week, which should not only highlight your Inn, but upcoming local attractions, food reviews and decor/style tips.

12. Respond to ALL reviews, not just the bad ones. If you do receive a bad one, DO NOT GET DEFENSIVE. Be apologetic and professional, and always offer a solution or alternative to their complaints to encourage them to give your business a second chance. When you receive a positive review, be gracious and enthusiastic for the guests' return.

13. Hairdryers, ironing boards/irons, and robes go a long way in terms of convenience for your guests. This will also warrant higher ratings from hospitality organizations reviewing your business. Also, consider featuring a gift shop area where guests can buy souvenirs, local products and extra amenities. Designate an actual section of your inn to display instead of strewing your product around the entire inn as "Decorations with Pricetags." Tacky.

14. Consider hosting weddings and events when your business starts to run smoothly. Special events can bring in wonderful revenue, provide stunning professional pictures for your website, and set you in a league apart from the rest. Form business relationships early on with local reputable caterers, cake designers, and party planners and attend workshops centered around event coordinating.

15. Identify your Inn's niche. If you want to market yourselves as culinary gurus, creative decorators, professional soap artisans, dog lovers, whatever you feel passionate about--set yourselves apart from the other run-of-the-mill inns in your area. Keep it simple and master your featured talent. Also, stay up to date with fluctuations and innovations in interior design. Replace sheets and comforters often, freshen up color schemes and revamp furniture when needed.

Join the "Inn-Crowd" with These Helpful Tips to Ensure A Memorable B&B Experience

June is a popular month for weddings, graduations and anniversaries. Many people make reservations at their tried and true hotel chains, or stay with friends (which can sometimes be restrictive of your privacy). While I love the predictability of a hotel or the comfort of an old friend’s home, I will attempt to open your eyes to an often underrated means of accommodation: a Bed & Breakfast (or an Inn).

Bed & Breakfasts are typically owned by a single person or a couple, and you are essentially being welcomed into their lavishly decorated home where they want to cater to you and give you the best experience possible. You would only be sharing their attention with approximately 6 other rooms, which is a pretty good ratio for getting individualized support. Innkeepers have been in the business for a long time and have hospitality down to a science. They know where to send you to get exactly what you want to eat (and will even make the reservation for you, since they know the owner). They can redirect you around traffic and point you in the direction of secret, locals-only hiking trails. They can plan a weekend itinerary for you filled with horseback riding and picnics in the woods, and have flowers and handmade truffles waiting for you in your room when you return. Large hotel chains may win you over with a warm cookie upon arrival, but consider this: When you arrive to a B&B, you are beckoned with lush, empyrean gardens and landscaping; stunning, ornate furnishings and soft, 1000-thread count sheets; doting Innkeepers, who are a wealth of knowledge about the area; and quite possibly, an entire oven full of fresh, warm cookies to greet you. You are guaranteed a gourmet
 breakfast and fresh coffee when you wake up, and by the end of your stay (if the Innkeepers have their hearts in it), you will feel like you just inherited a new extension of your family.

On the other side of the token, I do feel that B&B’s aren’t for everyone. Some people like to be completely secluded with minimal interaction with other parties, others want to accumulate their hotel travel points for valid reasons. I also believe that there are common misconceptions that surround a Bed & Breakfast. An attentive innkeeper will do everything in their power to ensure that you are provided a quiet guestroom to relax in. They will be open and honest about soundproofing quality and will not offer you a room above a noisy kitchen if they know you want a serene getaway to catch up on sleep. Some B&B’s offer family style dining, where everyone sits at a large dining room table for breakfast. I tend to prefer café-style tables set up in a large dining room so that patrons can have their space but still feel the energy of the morning bustle. If this is something that you prefer, be sure to read up on your dining accommodations so that you get exactly what you pay for. A hospitable innkeeper will also respect your intentions of enjoying a private getaway by being available to their guests but not intrusive.

Here are the key DO’s and DON’T’s when considering a B&B:

DO call the Inn before booking to address any specific questions you may have or ask about special rates.

DON’T try to intimidate or bully the innkeeper into giving you a discount. They usually only have on average 6 rooms to rent, and while they will most likely give you a discount on the weekday, a weekend is when they make the majority of their revenue.

DO contact the Inn before your stay to make them aware of any dietary restrictions or allergies you may have.

DON’T demand a custom menu or wait until your breakfast arrives to let them know you are a diabetic gluten-free vegan allergic to vegetables.

DO inquire about rooms with private entrances or balconies.

DON’T use that as a way to sneak in guests or throw all-night soirees on the veranda.

DO request to purchase a nice package from the Inn in advance for your significant other to make their stay special.

DON’T wait until the day of your reservation to frantically order a bouquet of long-stemmed roses and chocolate dipped strawberries.

DO provide your Innkeeper with a time of arrival. Innkeepers love to be on property to greet their guests and give them a tour. They take great pride in their business and want to give you a fantastic first impression.

DON’T demand that an Innkeeper wait until 9 or 10 pm for your arrival when you committed to a 3 pm arrival. Oftentimes, Innkeepers have families and dedicate 24 hours a day/7 days a week to their B&B, and it is presumptuous to expect them to put their lives on hold to wait at the front because you had to make an impromptu stop at the outlet mall for 6 hours. There are a few exceptions such as inclement weather or poor traffic conditions that are beyond your control, and any Innkeeper will be more than understanding of this. Be sure to give them a courtesy call if this is the case.

DO ask your Innkeeper to provide extra pillows and duvets or to ensure that your bed won’t be adjacent to a drafty window or door.

DON’T take it upon yourself to rearrange furniture, remove headboards or take amenities from other rooms. I have heard of guests un-anchoring large, heavy headboards because they “made too much noise.” BIG faux pas.

DO ask your Innkeeper to give you a tour of their available, clean rooms for your next visit.

DON’T embark on a self-guided tour of the Inn. Remember, this is someone’s home and also guests may very well have forgotten to lock a door when they left for the day.

DO address any issues with your accommodations while you are on-sight so that they may be remedied immediately during your stay.

DON’T wait until 3 am to ring the Innkeeper about a running toilet or write a snarky review on TripAdvisor after your departure. Small businesses thrive on reviews and inns pride themselves on hospitality and being able to handle any situation as it arises. Unless your stay was absolutely horrid, there is no reason to wait and write a nasty review.

DO interact with other guests at breakfast and partake in lively conversation with the staff.

DON’T insult or belittle the staff; or bring up taboo topics at the breakfast table. Be aware of social cues in case some of the guests just want privacy. Sidenote, showing up in your pajamas to the formal dining room is a huge no-no. You don't have to dress up, but please look presentable.

DO ask your housekeeping staff to provide clean sheets daily or replenish your amenities. If you are staying 3 nights, typically the housekeeper will change your sheets for the 3rd night, but some people prefer extra freshening.

DON’T leave your room a pigsty with trash strewn about and hair clumps in the Jacuzzi. Leave your
 room in a way that wouldn’t embarrass you if your mother walked in. The staff is more than happy to freshen your room each morning when you go out for the day, but often they have a limited window of time to straighten all the rooms, so the tidier you leave it, the more thoroughly it will be cleaned.

DO leave a tip for the staff in your room as you depart. Customarily, if the service was exemplary, $10-$20 per day is standard.

DON’T leave leftover alcohol (many times, inn staff is under 21 years) or uneaten food as a tip.

DO return the next year with your significant other for a yearly getaway. The Innkeepers will fondly remember you and will try to make your second experience even more memorable.

DON’T return later with new “guests” every time. Even though an innkeeper will always show you respect and privacy regardless of your lifestyle choices, it is tacky to bring a different partner to the same place every time. Telephone the innkeeper and ask if there is another local B&B that they could recommend. They would be happy to assist you, especially if it would help them avoid a potentially awkward blunder.

A Bed & Breakfast can be a truly magical experience, especially if you are celebrating a special occasion with your loved one. Enjoying the single life? Treat yourself to a couple nights of pampering and relaxation! Some of my most incredible vacations have been solo ones, where I have the liberty to go off and explore a new area at my own leisure, partake in savory cuisine and meet people from all different walks of life.

Be sure to thoroughly browse your options, reading reviews and asking others for recommendations. If your personal style is more rustic chic, but you are booking your stay at a frilly Victorian Inn, that will not suit your preference. Comb through the online pictures and choose a B&B that is both aesthetically pleasing to your eye and has outstanding reviews for food and service.